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"For Dummies" Publisher Announces New "For Complete Fucking Morons" Book Line

HOBOKEN, NJ - At the East Coast Publishers trade show this past week, Wiley Publishing, the publishing group behind the popular "For Dummies" book line, rolled out the first books from their new "For Complete Fucking Morons" series.

The "For Dummies" line has become one of the best-selling series of "how-to" books on the market, but CEO Jeffrey Price says that there is a whole new audience out there to be tapped into. "The Dummies books have always been popular with the average dimwit, but as the past decade has proven, there is a constantly emerging population of idiots, dipshits and fucktards out there."

While the Dummies line has historically been successful, sales have been dropping off in recent years, says marketing researcher Naomi Blackwell. "Companies have always been able to rely on those who aren't the sharpest knife in the drawer for their sales, but studies have shown that even that population is slowly being eclipsed by a new demographic of goddamn nimrods. The kind of people that can't even screw in a light bulb without a frickin' book."

Many of the series writers are excited for the launch. "It's been a lot of fun writing the Morons series. We always had to treat our readers as if they had some semblance of intelligence, but now we get to dumb it down as much as want for these shit-for-brains dumbasses" says Roger Clemens, author of the upcoming "Childcare for Complete Fucking Morons."

The new line is set to be released over upcoming months with titles such as "Computers for Complete Fucking Morons", "Boiling Water for Complete Fucking Morons", and "Neurosurgery for Complete Fucking Morons". Many retailers have already begun decreasing their stock of the Dummies line in preparation for the new line's arrival.

"The Dummies books are always decent sellers, but more and more customers take the book off the shelf, attempt to read it with a really confused look on their face, and toss it on the floor on their way to the Twilight novels or Glen Beck books," remarks Borders bookseller Amy Carson.

"I mean, my God, what dumbfucks," she added.

The marketing campaign for the new series touts many improvements over the Dummies line, including new enlarged, easy-to-read prose using only words with no more than two syllables and a greater amount of references to contemporary reality TV shows. The diagrams and pictures will now be in vibrant color to keep readers' attentions, and the pages themselves will be laminated to protect against ripping and spilled energy drinks.

"We're confident that this new series will be a hit with all those total fucking asstards out there," says Jeffrey Price.