In the dungeon you encounter a Swarm of Hipsters. Roll for Initiative.

Swarm of Hipsters has resist 5 radiant damage thanks to their stupid ugly sunglasses. However, they take double sonic damage when you play music that they thought they were the only ones who liked. Their armor class is poor thanks to mostly shopping at underground thrift stores, but beware. You grant combat advantage to them since they always think they have the high ground.


Let's talk Oscars. The awards that kind of matter. And it's less of a wank fest than the Golden Globes or the SAG.

Best Picture has been expanded to 10 nominees. The only good to come of this is allowing Up a chance. This is only the second time an animated movie has been up for Best Picture, the first time being Beauty and the Beast back in the nineties. There's no way Up will win, and after all it still has Best Animated Picture (or the "Pixar Invitational") but can you imagine? If Up won I'd be deliriously happy. So much so, that I'd probably blindly say yes to anybody who asked a favor of me for like a week afterwords. (...ladies...)

Realistically, I'm hoping that the Academy will do what they did for Scorsese and give Best Picture to Inglorious Basterds to honor Tarantino's past films. And also, it was a pretty darn good film.

-District 9? HAH. No way, not in a million years.
-Avatar? I doubt it. A Golden Globe means nothing. It'll sweep the techie stuff thought.
-Up in the Air? I can see it, but there's too much competition.
-A Serious Man? Possible, but the Coen Brothers just got a Best Picture two years ago.
-The Blind Side? GOD NO. PLEASE NO.

So it's a toss-up between Hurt Locker, An Education, and Precious I think.

Best Director could be Tarantino, but I think it'll be Bigelow. If only because I think the idea of James Cameron losing out to his ex-wife for a movie with a fraction of the budget of Avatar's is high-larious.

I'm going to say Jeff Bridges for Best Actor, though this could be Colin Firth's year.

CHRISTOPH WALTZ VILL BE ZA BEST SUPPORTING AHCTOR, JAH? VAHT ZAY YOU, FRAULIEN?

If Sandra Bullock gets Best Actress, the Academy Awards will lose so much credibility. Mo'Nique will take Best Supporting Actress.

Best Screenplay I'm firmly calling for Tarantino. You just can't beat lines like "Say Auf wiedersehen to your Nazi balls." *gunshot*

Best Adapted Screenplay I'm gonna go ahead and call for Precious.

So many loyalties at conflict here for Best Animated Picture! I want Up to win because I love Pixar so much, but I really want Princess and the Frog to show that 2D animation is far from dead. And what of Coraline, whose roots can be traced back to Neil Gaiman aka "Jesus the Christ"? I can't choose!!

And Best Foreign Language film? Um... *throws dice*. Ajami (Israel) will win. Totally.

And those are all the awards I feel qualified to talk about.



I finally found a store that restocked and put out Bludgeon! I can say with complete confidence that it is the best action figure of a skeleton samurai that transforms into a tank I have ever encountered. If only because I was only a year old when his original iteration came out. The 2003 release doesn't count because he's just a repaint of Generation 2 Megatron and as such, has absolutely no samurai elements. They didn't even bother with a new head!