Sometimes I write things

Memo to parents who have a child who is considering striking out onto the world: If you want to seriously dissuade them, tell them they have to do dishes. And probably without a dishwasher. They have to wash the dishes with nothing but their hands, some soap, a sponge, and their wits. For reals. And it almost takes longer than the time you have allocated for it. There will be sweat, tears, and yes, blood. It may be enough to make the kid recant.

Christmas is here. You, in the comfort of your own home, may not have realized it. But you, my brothers and sisters in retail, know that the time is upon us. The attack will come, and it may be subtle. Like vaguely Christmas-y music making it into the rotation. But it may be obvious, like an extra 49 boxes of Christmas product. Or a new table on the sales floor dedicated to products with the subject code "HOLIDAY". It is coming and, you who are about to go forth, enjoy these last moments of relative serenity and sanity among your customers, for these innocent consumers are about to transform.

On a happier note, TEKKEN 6 IS OUT! It's about goddamned time, seeing as 5 came out in 2005, with naught but Dark Resurrection to tide us over. I'm taking a serious approach to this game, learning juggles and combos and such while honing my skills with Asuka and Dragunov. Seeing as they're pretty close to their previous incarnations, I'll look at picking up some other characters like the spider chick or the Jackie Chan imposter. And seriously, screw Azazel. He almost makes me miss Jinpachi, the guy who could cause earthquakes and shoot fireballs from his gut.

FOX gives us House than takes it away for some other thing - I don't even know - and now I'm without Hugh Laurie for two weeks. And just when things were starting to get really interesting.

Heroes is not so much stupid this season as it is boring. Not much has happened lately, though maybe I'm just used to more epic, fast-paced storytelling. In any case, I'm betting ten bucks that with Hiro going to back to try saving Charlie again, he's somehow going to reset the entire show. I honestly don't know if that would help matters or make them worse.

Castle was awesome, even if the Firefly gag only lasted the first few minutes.

The television studies professor inflicted Flavor of Love on us today, and it may be several hours before I can trust television again. I already fear that I have forgotten how to love.